I Know How You Feel
by Depp1987
Summary: Summary inside. MATURING TEENAGE THEMES! NO SEX BETWEEN CHARACTERS! DONT LIKE DO NOT READ OR COMMENT! These books are racy enough all by themselves so that's why I decided to do this. This is strictly a father/son theme and how I think Christian will be as a parent. Italics indicates a flashback sequence.
1. Chapter 1

**My Name Is Teddy Grey and I Love My Daddy**

 **Christian never thought his child would be in pain, and when it happens his bond with his beloved baby grows stronger than he could have ever imagined. MATURE THEMES! Bladder, bed wetting etc.**

Christian heard the crying when he came into the hallway. His instincts as a parent kicked in and before getting Ana he needed to see what was happening with his baby boy.

"Teddy, its Daddy what's wrong?" he called softly opening the door to the bedroom. The scared eleven year old looked up at his father, and sniffled.

"My… my tummy hurts," he couldn't tell his father the real problem, it was too weird. Christian went into comforter mode. He picked him up, the little one resting on his shoulder.

"Come on, I'll get you medicine." They padded down the hallway, he switched Teddy to his hip, opening the cabinet.

"Dad…" came the drowsy reply after popping the antacid.

"What baby?" Christian replied rubbing his back, as they sat on the couch together. He felt his little boy hesitate. Now Christian was worried.

"Baby, what's the problem?" he whispered gently, starting to rub his back.

"I… I don't know…"

"Then why are you so upset?"

"I… I… don't know how to tell you…" Christian leaned back, starting to rock him gently. He kissed his head softly, biting his lip to stop panicking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Your Daddy Will Always Be Here**

Christian woke up on the couch with his baby in his arms. It was about 7 AM. He could hear Ana getting up.

"Sweetie, come on you have school and I have a meeting," he gently shook Teddy.

"Kay," Teddy ran off to get dressed for school. Ana came over and put her arms around him. Being close to her made him forget about his own childhood trauma.

"Are you two OK?"

"He didn't feel good last night, so I stayed up with him," Christian didn't want her to worry about him.

"OK, think I should take him to the doctor?"

"No, just stress from school I'm sure," Christian didn't want to tell her he was not convinced.

"OK, keep me informed if he gets sick at school. I'll get him early." He nodded, and went to check on their son.

"Teddy its Daddy," he knocked on the door to the bedroom.

"I'll be out in a minute," everything sounded normal. Christian wanted to take the day off so they could talk, but he knew not to pry and scare him off. That wouldn't help things.

/

All day long he couldn't concentrate on a thing at the office. He was too distracted. His son was scared or worried, and he couldn't figure it out. What if he was being bullied?

When he got home that night, Ana was making dinner, he found Teddy lying in his study on the couch when he walked in with his laptop.

"Baby… Whats wrong?" Christian bent down, and put a hand on his forehead, there were tears in his son's eyes.

"Daddy something happened to me…" his voice shook with tears, and he was struggling to get his breath. Christian got on his knees, and put his arms around him.

"What? You can tell me…" he whispered in his ear holding on tighter as his son cried.

"Shhhhh, shhhhhhhh, Daddy's here, shhhhhhhh baby, sshhhhhhhh," he felt Teddy's breathing calm down and relax in his father's arms. His father kissed him on the top of the head, putting his lips to Teddy's hair.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hushaby Don't You Cry**

Christian laid in the spare master bedroom. Teddy had fallen asleep in his arms, he had taken his school uniform off, dressing him in his favorite pj's.

"Daddy…." He felt the little boy stir on his chest. Christian sat up, and kept his son in his lap.

"Baby boo, what happened to get you so upset?" Teddy sighed, hoping his parents wouldn't be upset with him.

"I wet the bed," he mumbled, Christian sighed with relief and laughed out loud at the same time.

"Is that it?"

"Yes, you're not gonna yell at me and tell mummy," Christian grinned, and hugged him close.

"No, mummy won't be upset, why would you think that? I did it when I was at college at Stanford after getting drunk at a party. We're all human," his daddy reassured him.

"Daddy… Can you not tell mummy this part," Christian stopped his giggling.

"Not tell mummy what?" Teddy put his head down, tears coming into his eyes. Christian hugged him tighter, shushing him gently.

"Something is wrong with my…" he looked down. Christian looked at the ceiling in shock, trying to not make this news traumatic for his son.

"Sweetheart," Christian got off the bed, and got down in front of his son, gently placing his hands on his face.

"That was not wetting the bed, you had a wet dream."

"A WHAT?!" Teddy's exclaimed his eyes got wide, and his breathing quickened.

"Shhhhhhsssshhhhh, calm down baby, it's OK, let Daddy explain it to you," Teddy nodded trying to stay calm.

"A wet dream is what happens to boys when they are entering puberty, its not from drinking too much soda. You have a dream about a girl, and your penis grows double in size, because you become aroused." Teddy nodded, Christian grabbed his phone and hit Dr. Flynn.

"Hi, if you get a chance call me, I would like to move my appointment up." He spoke into the answering machine.

"Come here," he scooped up his frightened child, and they went into the bathroom. He started to run a bath, with Teddy perched on the counter.

"Lift up," he pulled Teddy's pj top off. Teddy felt calmer having told his father what was going on. He slipped into the warm water, as he did Christian surveyed his virgin member, no harm done, no swelling, or irritation. He sat on the wall of the tube starting to wash his frightened child.

"You're staying home tomorrow, I made us an appointment with Dr. Flynn." Teddy sighed in relief. His ever observant father saw this.

"Another man can help you with your body changes. I can stay in the foyer and make calls to auntie Mia-"

"NO! I want you there, please Daddy.." Christian ran a hand over his cheek. He was so happy that he was able to be there to be there to guide his child through this traumatic time, and no one hurting him.


	4. Chapter 4

**A Teddy and Daddy Day**

"OK, I'll see you when I get home," Ana says kissing her beloved goodbye. Christian smiles and waves. They have a night appointment with Flynn, because Christian is worried about the press chasing them.

"You OK, monkey?" he leans on Teddy's dresser. Ana will be at work all day so they can talk in private.

"Yea, did you strip my bed?

"Yes, I washed the sheets myself, no one saw, I promise you."

"Thanks, I… I don't wanna tell mummy yet," Christian understood why this was.

"Daddy?"

"Yes baby?"

"Can you give me another bath tonight?" Christin's eyes misted over, and he slid into bed with his son. He loved how they had this secret baby talk no one knew about. He had worked hard in therapy to be the father he never had and to cherish his children.

"I was crying because it hurt so much, but the sheets were soaked."

"I know sweetheart, the pain stops after the erection passes, but it does hurt sometimes. Semen is similar to very clear urine. Do you understand what Daddy means?"

"Yes,"

"Want me to rub your tummy?" a whimper told Christian yes. Teddy was so sensitive, and young for his age.

"Feel good?" he whispered, a sleepy sigh was all he could hear. He made a point to get a hot water bottle. He held his child tightly, making sure that he knew he was safe and loved.

Seven hours later Teddy is in the car with his Daddy. Christian got the last appointment for them at 7 PM. He cannot bear the thought of the press finding them in the middle of the day. Teddy lazily leans against his father, staring out the window.

"Christian," Flynn pleasantly opens the door, gesturing them both into the office.

"We… had a little episode last night, Teddy is entering into puberty.." Flynn observantly raises an eyebrow and he looks intently at Christian.

"Teddy…' the therapist crouches down in front of the scared pre-teen, Teddy buries his face in his father's side. Christian bent down and held his son close.

"Its OK baby, there is nothing to be scared of…" he grabbed Teddy's hand and led him over to the couch.

"have a seat you two, can I get anyone a drink?"

"Coffee's good, thanks" Christian said, loosening his tie, and putting a pillow behind Teddy.

"OK sure," he gave Teddy a reassuring smile. Christian pulled him into a tight hug as they sat together on the couch. He felt so safe when he was in his Daddy's arms.

"He is the most compassionate human being on the planet, I promise you. He took care of me when I had a nervous breakdown after me and your mummy broke up." Teddy looked up at his father, and smiled a little.

"Teddy, I'm not going to ask you any questions. I am going to let you explain to me what happened. Your daddy and I are going to just listen to you, OK?" the therapist replied gently. Christina gave Flynn a grateful look.

"I… I was sleeping in my bed the other night and woke up to a pain in my tummy, but then I realized my penis was swollen really badly… I got scared and thought I was having a reaction to the shrimp from dinner. I heard daddy in the hallway, but I couldn't talk so I just cried a lot hoping he would hear me."

"OK, had you had a dream about a girl from school to bring this on?"

"No I just noticed it happening.."

"I gave him a bath the next night to calm him down, I came in from the office and he was laying in my armchair crying," Christian explained, hugging his son close.

"Was there any swelling in his testicles or scrotum region, I have seen it before with boys in research."

"None, that's why I put him in a warm bath in my room to calm down the muscles. Plus we needed some Daddy and Teddy time."

"You did everything right, many parents do not count this in a moment where they can bond with their children," in that moment Christina could tell that Flynn was proud of him, it was something he had never seen before and it was soothing and comforting.

"Let's end early, poor thing looks exhausted," Christian nodded. His therapist stopped him at the doorway, Teddy was going out to the car.

"I'm very proud of you," Flynn looked deep into his eyes that he had worked so hard to fix, piece by piece for the past five years. In one moment of needing to be comforted, Christian threw his arms around him.

"Thank you," he whispered, Flynn gave him a tight hug back. He pulled back and ran a thumb over Christian's cheek. The CEO of Grey House relished in the warmth, there were times he would have never allowed that.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Analyst**

" _Shhhh, Christian relax…" Flynn gently held his wrist, trying to get the broken soul to quiet down._

" _Shhhhhhshhhh, we'll be out of here in a sec, just try and stay calm.. Its OK, shhhhh…" Flynn looked behind him and saw one of the residents coming with the discharge form._

Grey stood in the open door to Teddy's bedroom. His poor baby was so broken and he had no way to stop it. He heard his phone ping.

 _Skype? – FLYNN_

He knew this was going to be about him and Ana at some point in time. Teddy was fast asleep in his room so he went to his office and shut the door.

"That was unexpected.." Flynn said once they were both signed on.

"I didn't think it could happen to someone so early, thanks for the help,"

"Puberty is different with all of us, some are late and some early. My own mother did not go through menopause until fifty nine."

"He is unsure of himself, is that normal?"

"Yes, it can be when we are at a milestone in life. We are all different."

"I appreciate the guidance on this one,"

"I know mon Capitan, OK over and out til next week; and if you need me I'm here, Christian."

 _"I feel sick,"_

 _"I know, just let it happen, don't fight it…" Flynn was on his level by now on the bedroom floor._

 _"I think I'm gonna…" at that moment the CEO of Grey House vomited all over the floor, he moaned and sagged in his therapist's arms._

 _"Come on, let's get you cleaned up.." Christian didn't even notice he had lost forty pounds since the breakup. Once they reached the bathroom, the therapist gently put him on the wall of the tube._

 _"It's time for your bath, OK. It's just you and me, shhhh," the faucet was running and the warmth enveloped him like a wool coat in winter. His muscles were stretched to the max, his skin was dry, and if he wanted to fight being touched he couldn't._

 _"This is called TLC, Christian. This is not BDSM, this is unconditional, unattached TLC that a scared little boy did not get." Somewhere in the CEO's mind it clicked finally. The meaning of a soft touch without conditions. He lifted his ad to look at the man who was saving his life, and relationship._

 _"Mmm… mmoorreee…" he whispered in a choked up voice, his lips dry. Flynn said nothing, just worked on him, gently, a soft face cloth in hand. The voice in Christian's head which always said, 'YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS' was silent._

 **TBC…. After reading Grey it kind of made my imagination go crazy, plus seeing th movie Prince of Tides.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Learning to Trust**

"This is how it is now…" Christian said, laying on Flynn's sofa in his plush office.

"I know, but it will pass,"

"I…"

"It did with you," the therapist arched an eyebrow, pen raised in the air. Christian nodded.

"Try something with me,"

"Close your eyes, take a deep breath in with me, exhale…" Flynn said slowly, doing the exercise in tandem with his patient. He made sure to mirror Christian's breaths, making them into one body.

"Feels so good.." Christian murmured, the warmth and safety he felt in Flynn's presence was incredible.

"I'm glad, I'm going to dim the lights and let you relax a bit," Christian merely sighed happily.

The therapist turned down the lights, quietly watching his patient. Damn Grey was a challenge! But he saw the tortured soul, and he vowed never to abandon his patients. He moved his chair closer, giving Christian as much security as possible.

"Relax, I'm right here with you, you are not alone.. I promise," his charge nodded, half asleep by now.

"Are you cold?" without waiting for a response, he pulled the dark blue blanket off the chair, laying it gently over Christian. Task completed, he resumed his spot, and loving watch over his client.

"This is what you are giving your little boy, this is what I've been trying to teach you," the therapist said softly, he softly placed a hand on Christian's forehead. A tear slide down Christian cheek.

"Feel this, now. I am here with you, Ana loves you, your baby loves you, and we are all here for you,"

"The gnawing is back… Its, its right here," Flynn watched him point to his lower abdomen.

"That's not pain in your tummy, that's warmth. Its warmth for me and now Ana and your baby, it's going to be overwhelming at first because it's new-"

"Is it time yet…" Flynn cut him off.

"Oh no way, you're not going anywhere, I'll only charge you for one session. We're staying right here. Is it time yet," the therapist shook his head laughing.

"It…. It won't stop…" Flynn saw that panicked little boy, which he had met so many years ago.

"We don't want it to stop Christian," the therapist whispered, he put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"But it's uncomfortable,"

"I know sweetheart, I'm pushing you to where I always have, but this time I'm saying to you to you _feel_. It's just us and my fish, you're not in any danger, you're not in trouble, and you have your Ana and your baby at home for you."

Flynn knew he was out of bounds with Christina but he didn't care. What was he to do with a client who had such horrific experiences? He didn't see the problem, unless Christian told him to back off, which was becoming less and less. Had the poor thing ever had anyone tell him he was proud of him?

"Are you still here?" a breathy whisper broke him out of his thoughts.

"Yes, I'm here besides you…. Take my hand," the once angry and stubborn Christian didn't hesitate.

"How's your tummy?" he gently brushed Christan's forehead.

"I… I… Warm,"

"That's what it should be, warm. Your feeling love. That's all it is Christian, love." The CEO's eyes opened slightly, he had never bothered to notice the soft look in his therapist's eyes before.

"Sit up slowly for me, here I'll help you… Come on, up we go," the compassion was something that was alien to Christian, but he liked it now.

"There we go," Flynn whispered, his hands gently resting on Christian's shoulders making sure he was steady.

"Can we do this again on Friday?"

"Of course we can," Flynn smiled gently, he stood with him and walked towards the door out to the waiting room; Christian stopped, and looked unsure. He didn't even need to ask, because the psychiatrist could read it.

"Come here…" Christian stepped forward, letting himself be engulfed in a warm, loving hug. They stayed like that for a long time; Flynn noted that his client did not pull away in disgust, instead staying there, enjoying the comfort.


	7. Chapter 7

**Grey House Paris**

"What are we doing?"

"Having quiet time, so we can reflect on your year-end progress," Flynn said, they were both laying on the floor in his office opposite one another.

"Oh," Christian said, as matter of factly as he could without saying something snide, and getting a tongue lashing.

"I'm leaving for Paris in two weeks, I want you and Geert to come with us,"

"We are so over the boundary line my Christian it's kind of been obliterated," Flynn smiled to himself. Christian grinned, rolling over on to his tummy. He thought of how Flynn had changed him and gotten him through so much.

"Time to stop, my Little Dove," Flynn observed staring at the clock. The pair got up, and the CEO of Grey House still felt that same awkwardness in asking for his nightly hug goodbye; Flynn broke the tension for him.

"Come here, you" again he was in the warmth of Flynn's safety. Christian didn't want to bring up Paris again, he didn't want to feel the pain of rejection after a hard session.

"I'll speak to Geert about it tonight, I can't promise anything but I'll try," the therapist cautioned.

"I'll pay your salary for a year over the summer, food and lodging is on me, and you two would have your own bedroom with private bath in our villa."

"That sounds lovely, Christian. You're too generous for your own good, I'll see you Friday OK love," Christian tried to hide his anxiety about the offer, and said nothing as he stood in the doorway.

*************************************'

"Baby, what's the matter?" Christin whispered, scooping Teddy up off the bathroom floor.

"I wanted to cuddle with you," Teddy replied sleepily, he wrapped his arms around his father tightly.

"C'mon lets go in the rocking chair," he never got tired of this for anything, rocking his baby to sleep.

"Don't ever leave me, daddy…"

"Never my baby, never," Christian whispered, gently rocking him. The rocker had been a gift from Germany and was hand-made.

"Close your eyes my little baby, everything is OK,"

"I can't wait til we go to France, and see auntie Mia," Teddy smiled, Mia was his godmother and Elliot was his godfather.

"I know pumpkin, I'm excited too. We haven't seen auntie since last Christmas," his daddy smiled, thinking of his beloved sister and Teddy's favorite auntie.


	8. Chapter 8

**What's Wrong With Daddy**

"Mama," Ana looked up from her book, Teddy standing in the doorway of the bedroom.

"Yes baby,"

"What's wrong with daddy?" Ana stood, and lifted her son into her arms. Teddy sensing this was a hard topic laid his head on her shoulder.

"Sweetheart, some very bad people hurt daddy," Ana didn't want to scar the hild for life.

"Is that why he sees Dr. Flynn?"

"Yes, and just to vent about work,"

"Oh, I get it." Ana sighed with relief, thank God she didn't have to go into detail with this. the door opened, and she went to the foyer, Teddy still in her arms.

"Hi baby," he kissed Ana on the cheek, and took his son form her.

"I'm gonna go to bed early,"

"OK, honey are you sick?"

"No, just tired…" Ana looked at Christian and nodded. He put Teddy down, and went into the kitchen.

/

"Baby, can I come in?" he heard his daddy knocking.

"Yes," Teddy said, laying on his bed already in his pj's. Christian went to his son, and sat on the bed.

"Baby, what's the matter?"

"Nothing," the wine in his voice sent panic into the CEO's head.

"Sweetheart, stop it right now, I know you better than that," Christian leveled his eyes, these were rare moments between them, but he needed information now so this was now it was going to be.

"Is Flynn coming to Paris for the ummer?"

"Yes, he just texted me; he's coming with his husband Geert who is also a therapist."

"Oh, OK." Teddy shrugged, climbing off the bed to avoid the topic altogether.

"Was that what you wanted to know?"

"yes, that's all, I'm gonna go brush my teeth, night Daddy."

Christian lay next to Ana in bed that night with his mind racing, he knew this was going to have to come up at some point with his kids and the abuse he suffered. He just never thought it was going to be this soon, and he thought he'd have a better way of handling it with him.

?_))(((((((((#######$$$$$$$

"Initial here too,"

"OK, you are in formal old Grey before Ana mode; what's the problem, monkey?"

"Just the logistics and the staff salaries when we get there, it's all good now."

"Lets do some regression quiet time before you leave,"

"OK," Christian laid down on the sofa, quieting his mind and letting his body relax and be in a safe place.

"Where are you?"

"Home, playing with my cars, I'm not under the table yet…"

:Where is Mommy?"

"Asleep on the couch, I think she's passed out again,"

"OK, now come back to me here, where do we live?"

"Seattle,"

"Who am I Christian?"

"Flynn,"

"Where are we?"

"Your office," Christian opened his eyes, looking over at Flynn. The therapist smiled softly at him, communicating to him that he was safe and loved.

"I'll see you tomorrow, OK. 10 AM sharp," Christian starred at the floor for a minute, why should he hug him, he was seeing him in a day; Flynn once again read the nonverbal cue that he needed.

"Come here, silly thing you." Christian was now so warm, and so calm instead of that icy exterior he had ever since he started with Flynn. He brathed in deeply, inhaling Flynn's scent that was of pine and log cabin.

"I'll see you in the morning," the therapist said softly, running a hand over his face gently.


End file.
